I dedicated back in the beginning of 2009, and the experience I have had for the past 5 years has shaped me into the strong and dedicated Satanist that I am today and will continue to be for the rest of my existence.
As I started my life as a SS (Spiritual Satanist) I like many others, was very excited. I committed myself to opening and empower my soul, but did not have much knowledge to do so. I came from a Christian background like a lot of others, so my knowledge regarding actual spirituality was very limiting. I began the Spiritual warfare manual, and it started to change how I viewed myself and Satanism. I was not sure of how things actually worked, I tried Wicca and other "So called Pagan" paths. But none of them capture the truth or what is reality, but only imagination and ignorance. They just like the Christians hold these fantasies in there closed and weak minds. They do not understand the science that goes into magick or "prayer". They see it as this mystical nonsense that just happens. But it is far more than this, and it can be explained much further. I will go more into this another time.
I did not make it far into the training manual as like many other things in my life. I stopped after about the 2nd or 3rd month mark. I did not understand at that time that you have to stay consistent and not start and stop things. After I did the dedication, I noticed thing started to happen in my life, but they were positive things. Everything started to go my way, and I used to have bad luck through out my life as a mundane. Things like I dropped out of high school and was just going to get a GED. But as I did this I was accepted into a branch of the school that was all on computers, and was only 3 hours and was close to where I lived. I lived in a rural area, so that was a accommodating factor. Then I signed up for the Army, but the problem was that I was suppose to leave for basic training before I was going to graduate. I managed to get all of my classes and credits done, but I was still going to have to stay until the end of the school year. I was allowed to graduate 5 months early so I could still go to the Army. These are the glories of being a dedicated SS, and the more you do for Satan the more he does for you. Now part of life is to have ups and downs, being a SS you have the ability to not be at the whims of the universe and take control of your reality. I wished I had the knowledge that I do now about how everything works. But that is the beauty of it, looking back and being able to say, wow I have come so far and am continuing to improve myself and work for Satan in so many ways. My time in the military between being in Garrison and my time in Afghanistan, I had a hard time. I learned the hard way to keep secrets, for when people especially people you cant get away from find out that you are a Pagan or Satanist. People even if they are not Christians or whatever they still do not understand, and everyone who is not dedicated is not to be trusted for they are "Agents of the Enemy". They have no control of their lives and they will try and make your life harder do to the fact that the enemy has control of their minds and actions. It is sad that many of us find that the family and friends that we have always known will turn on us in a instant.
The past 5 years that I have been a SS, I have traveled and met over 10 SS in person. And from meeting these people I have gained much experience that I feel most do not have. This is because talking with someone over the internet is so much different than being face to face. I struggled with a ego problem that every SS out of everyone that I have either met in person or over the internet has at some point had an ego problem. I think it is do to the fact that we are surrounded by mundanes with low levels of energy and are still in the dark about the truth, that we feel much more highly of ourselves. There is a fine line between having pride and being Egotistical. Something that I have learned along the way is that Satan stomps out egotism. It is detrimental to the whole, for you are too worried about yourself. If Satan and the Gods were to stop and help everyone every time we got our feelings hurt then nothing would ever be accomplished. From meeting these other SS, I have also found the "infighting" to be very serious. Some people disregard the warning of trying to hurt a fellow brother/ sister of Satan. These people who step over that boundary are punished and are to learn from their mistakes. Everything that happens to us, I feel is Satan's will. Whether it be a positive or negative experience, it is a lesson to be learned. So many times I have wanted to give up and quit. There were times that my life seemed out of control, but we learn to trust in Satan and let His Will guide us. Many of us have found that patience plays the biggest part of getting through the bad times and advancing our souls. For when we would rush things, they would never work out.
To sum up these 5 years, I have struggled and prevailed against odds that would topple the mundane. But with the Love and Guidance that Satan and the Gods have shown me and so many others. We can always make it, and come out on top. After all of the bad things that have happened, I can say that I am a SS and proud. I have an amazing life that I thank and contribute to Satan and the Gods for Blessing me with.
Never give up, and let Satan's Love shine upon your life. When you need help and do not know what to do or where to go, call out for Satan and he will answer. He is the Light in the Darkness.
HAIL THE MIGHTY GODS OF DUAT!!